Christmas Greetings & the year in review (briefly!)
OK so I though, we are at the end of the year, we have failed to send out many Christmas Cards, so if you haven’t had one from us and expected one the our apologies, if you have received one your one of the few. So if you could accept this little blog post, complete (if it all works) with an animated video Christmas Card! a few shots we took in the snow the other day, as our Christmas Card to you, that would be great.
Christmas Greetings from the Cavanagh Family – Click on the link to get the video, it seems I am unable to import the clip at the moment, for some reason!
Also, the trend these days is towards sending out ‘news letters’ with Christmas Cards, so in an effort to not miss the boat on this trend I am giving a brief (well lets see just how brief when we get to the end shall we!) precee of the year, if your not interested or already know all this just stop reading here. OK so if your reading on then I assume that you want to know the following info. The year started on a low, certainly for me personally, Depression was keeping me at rock bottom, it got even worse, January, February & March were pretty grim, some of you know just how grim it got but it wasn’t good. Fortunately we have a number of really good friends who have been there for us in our times of need, I cant even begin to mention those who did so much, through this year and the end of last year, to support our family for fear of causing offence by missing some out . Suffice to say, we have been extremely grateful to those who have been there for us, who have supported us in so many ways, who have, at times, walked through a huge amount of mire and grime with us and taken a huge amount of negative stuff from me in the process, you guys know who you are and thanks is not enough to cover it, I love you, each of you and can only hope that, if the tables are turned, I will be there for you just as you have been here for me. Depression is not an easy condition to live with, even more so for a Christian, for all sorts of reasons, but it is one that I have had to live with for some time now, I would readily swap it for something else but God has seen fit to allow this to affect my life and all I can do is trust in him in and through the dark times. At the beginning of the year, for me, everything was so bleak and black that I didn’t really care whether I lived or died, I felt as though I was just existing, and barely doing that at times. In spite of the fact that I started the year so low I have to say that much has been achieved in me this year, it is incredible to think where I was at a year ago and look at where I am now. At Easter we managed to get away to Dalesdown, a holiday run for Families of Autistic Children, we had a fantastic support there, from the team as a whole, both kids had carers allocated to them, allowing us to have some breathing space. Incredibly, Natalie got offered a place at a special school in the area, this was incredible because we had been convinced, based on the initial reactions, that the LEA were not going to allow her to go without a fight, in the end they just agreed. So it is with very mixed feelings that this summer Nat had her last day at her village Lower school, a school that had really taken her and our family into their hearts and had come to mean so much to us, the staff had all been fantastic, we presented the school with a new ‘friendship bench’ as a token of our gratitude to them for the care they had shown to Nat. During the Spring Bank Half Term, we had the whole house completely re-wired (electrics) we took the kids away for the week to allow the work to go on unhindered, we went to Southwold and had a great holiday. After we were back I re-decorated Nat’s bedroom, she has had a complete makeover, with new furniture, new lamp shade, new bed, painted walls & border, most of which was chosen by her, especially the girly pink paint. Painting was something I struggled with, I don’t do paint if I can avoid it, but I managed it. During the summer both children went on summer playschemes for 3 weeks, which they both seemed to enjoy. then we went off on another weeks holiday, to Mersey Island, a beautiful little island that is tucked away in Essex, not somewhere we would usually think of going but we had a good time. Whilst we were away, Johys mum and a friend from church got in and decorated our living room, as well as helping clear and de-clutter the rest of the house. The summer ended with me back to work, part time, initially just 3 mornings a week, In the autumn I had 2 conferences to go to, both in London, which is some feat for me as I don’t like travel in London at the best of times, but God was gracious and the journeying, on the second conference, when I was on my own, went incredibly well. In September as well, Natalie started her new school, she is loving it there, and thriving, in no way do we want to criticise her previous school because they were excellent but we have realised even more since she changed school that this was the right time to do it, I think the previous school achieved as much as they could with her and its now over to the special school to work on this and move her forward, indeed the new school have been really impressed with the way she settled into the school and the fact that she didn’t have as many issues as other children coming from mainstream settings, a testimony to the skill and dedication of the staff at her previous school. She is thriving in the school and is a very popular child, with staff and children alike, which is just how it was at her previous school. As for Steven, he is still happy and enjoying life, he has just turned 15 last week and, even though he doesn’t speak it is strange to hear his voice having now broken, when he gurgles and giggles, Steven seems to love life generally and especially loves to swim. We have now had to start looking at his future, beyond schooling, which is a scary prospect in itself. He is still having big problems with hi epilepsy, there has been a sharp increase in seizure rate over the past few weeks as we have decided to try a different medication, which means withdrawing one of the 3 meds he is currently on before introducing the new one, the withdrawal process has an inevitable effect on seizure frequency although not as bad as we had feared it might be. Steven is also a very popular child and all the staff, both at school and his respite placement, love having him, we feel so honoured to have such adorable children, even though they are extremely hard work. Joy has continued to soldier on through thick and thin, she has been a tremendous support to me and taken on a huge extra burden this year as I have been unable to do as much as I should through large parts of the year, this has inevitably left her shattered at times, well most of the time, especially with having to be up at all hours with Steven’s seizures, which mainly occur over night. So to today, I have just finished my last morning in the office this year, it feels good to be able to write that. Christmas day we are at church in the morning then, following on from the success of last years Christmas Day meal, we are out again this year, at a Restaurant, a bit of an expense but one which helps to make our day special.
Book Review: Welcome Home.
My thanks once again to Tyndale for providing me with a courtesy copy of ‘Welcome Home: Our Family’s Journey to Extreme Joy‘ to read and review.
This book, written by Kimberley Woodhouse, is the story of one families struggle against and in the face of adversity.
Kim’s son was born with various medical issues but her daughter was born with a very rare medical disorder that meant that she didn’t feel any pain, didn’t sweat and had to wear special cooling clothing to go outside.
Kim & her husband, Jeremy, have had more than their share of trials and difficulties in their life but in the face of it all they continue to say ‘Consider it pure Joy’ this is their story, the story of a family who have had to redefine ‘normal’ as it applies to their lives and who have had to undergo so much in order to give their children the best chance of success and anything near a ‘normal’ life.
Moving house and changing jobs, several times in a short time in order to give the children the best opportunities possible.
It seems that just as they get settled into some kind of routine and have an expectation that things are settling down then another trauma or issue occurs that causes huge problems for them.
In the course of seeking the best care for their children the Woodhouse family racked up huge debts and even ended up loosing their house.
Any American’s reading this blog might recognise the family from their apearance on ‘Extreme Makeover: Home edition’ this book finishes with them having been given the opportunity of a lifetime, having a purpose built home made for them as a part of this TV series (for my UK friends think DIY SOS on steroids!) where they see first hand the love and affection of many hundreds of people.
This book is a gripping read but could not possibly have been a work of fiction, there is no way that any author would dream up so many difficulties and trials in the course of one family, it would be just too unbelievable.
I found myself so wrapped up in the lives of the Woodhouse family I almost feel as if I know them personally.
Kim tells, in unusual honesty and candour, of her own struggles in the face of adversity, she tells it as it is and leaves us in no doubt as to the struggles that she had at times, with accepting God’s will and purpose for her life and that of her family, it is so refreshing to see this kind of honesty and no attempt to over spiritualise their lives, she struggled many times and makes that clear, which gives hope to those of us who have also been through, or are going through, real difficulties in our own lives.
I was moved and challenged by this book, moved by the heartbreaking situation that the Woodhouse found themselves in and challenged by their unswerving faith and commitment to God, and their steadfastness to the principle of James 1:2-4 and continue to say, even if through gritted teeth ‘Consider it pure Joy’
I would recommend this book for anyone who is struggling with difficulties and hardship in any area of their lives, or those who have gone through and know what it is to struggle and face trials, that probably includes you at a guess, it certainly includes me.
Poor old Poorly Natty
Nat has come down with a cold, she doesn’t do ill very well, she started with the cold symptoms yesterday evening towards bed time,snuffling and coughing nicely, a bit of a high temperature but the main problem was that she was feeling rather distressed with a pain in the roof of her mouth we put her down to sleep as usual and she did actually settle pretty well considering, with the aid of calpol and having increased her normal Becatide Inhaler to aid with chest tightness.
Anyhow, she woke at about 4am really distressed and upset, we tried settling her back after giving her some more calpol and her Ventolin, her chest was tight, but she was still complaining of a sore throat.
Anyhow, she wasn’t going to settle on her own so we allowed her to come into our bed, as a treat, but she didn’t settle there very well, I managed to doze a little, but Joy eventually took Nat into the living room to see if she would settle, she did sleep in ‘my’ chair, I think that it was more in order to allow me the chance to sleep, Joy tends to be concerned to ensure I get sleep because it has quite a dramatic impact on my depression if I don’t.
Anyhow, Apparently Steven also had a fit at 6.45 this morning, as you can guess by the use of the word apparently, I wasn’t awake to know anything about it, so Joy has really not had a good nights sleep, although I feel like I have had a worse night than I really have had.
So, this morning Nat is still complaining of the pain in her mouth, her cold symptoms don’t seem as bad and she doesn’t have a temperature now either, but her mouth is really causing her problems, now ordinarily I would have carted her off to the Medical Drop in Centre at Queens Drive this morning but as she has cold symptoms and with the general paranoia around Swine Flu I decided we best call the out of hours service, I am pretty certain that she doesn’t have severe enough symptoms to be considered swine flu but just think bringing her into a waiting room without having first spoken to the medical people would result in them telling us off.
OK so I call, as usual they have to get a nurse to call us back, which takes nearly an hour, she says that she is told Nat has flu like symptoms! i tell her no that’s not the issue, so go through the symptoms and problems, explaining that I had called rather than brought her down to the drop in because of the cold symptoms, she talks through and asks various questions, then concludes that its swine flu because of the high temperature and the sore throat! I say, no she doesn’t have a high temperature, yes she feels a bit warm but not a high temperature, and she doesn’t have a sore throat its the roof of her mouth that’s the problem! so she says she will get a Dr to ring back.
The Dr rings back and says she understands that we are concerned with Nat having swine flu! so I explain once again that I don’t think she does have swine flu but she has a cold which is why I was calling rather than bringing her into the drop in service, but the concern wasn’t actually the cold but the pain in her mouth, so eventually she says OK you will have to bring her down to the Bed-doc service at 1pm for an assessment, although she will have to wear a mask whilst in the waiting room just in case its swine flu! all I can say is, good luck with the idea of getting her to keep a face mask on!
One of the facts that we have got used to is that, being the parents of 2 children with learning difficulties, means that we are much heavier users of the medical services, sometimes, like today, simply because our kids are not as able as other kids to tell us exactly what’s going on and what the pain is so we have to go on the over cautions side and get them checked over more regularly just in case! Generally we find the Drs & Nurses that we see as a result of this veyr udnerstanding and sympathetic of our problems and issues as well as being very good with the kids, although not always, so I am hoping for a good experience later when I get Nat off to see the Dr.
Aside from making you feel sorry for us for the lack of sleep and for Nat because she is feeling rough, the point is, why do the medical professionals want to diagnose Swineflu at every turn? are they being paid by the government to inflate the swineflu figures to make it seem a bigger issue than it is? perhaps to take the pressure off the governments own failures and weaknesses? Or am I just a cynic?
Having said all that, whilst writing this blog post Joy has started complaining she is feeling really hot, so just hoping its not swine flu after all.
Why ‘Standing in the Gap’?
OK so there have been a couple of people ask me how I came up with the title for this blog ‘Standing in the Gap’ well, here goes for my attempt at an explanation.
Some years ago, whilst reading my bible, I came across Ezekiel 22, I cried my way through the whole chapter, because in it I could see our country being described, for those who don’t know, it basically describes the way that Israel is/was at the time, it doesn’t make pleasant reading.
Anyhow, in Verse 30 we read: I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land, but I found no one.
This verse is often used to refer to Gods people praying for their land, and indeed it is a very good call to prayer, so why do I take it as the title of this Blog? after all I am hardly a prayer warrior, I don’t spend hours in prayer or intercession, so?
Well when I came across this passage, pre-adoption of our 2 children, I felt that there was more to the concept of building up the walls and standing in the gap than simply prayer, although that is very important and I don’t intend to diminish the importance of prayer in the slightest.
For me, the deeper meaning has more to do with bringing Heaven to Earth than lifting earth up to heaven, if that makes any sense? I will unpack it a bit anyhow!
For me, standing in the gap means yes prayer but it also means being the answer to prayer.
It means standing in the ago on behalf of Man but it also means standing in the gap on behalf of God, it means presenting (or representing) Man to God but also presenting (or representing) God to Man.
No one can truly stand in the gap and appeal to our God on behalf of Man if they are not also prepared to stand in the gap appealing to Man on behalf of God.
OK that sounds pretty complicated stuff I know! how do I represent God to man? well by being like Christ before Man, by doing the things that we see the father doing, by loving those who are unloved, by caring for those who are uncared for, by loving, loving, loving.
I felt so strongly at that time that we, myself and Joy, were being called to a life of serving in the place of the Gap, to look at the wrongs in our society and instead of recoiling into ourselves we were to stand up for the rights of the oppressed, we were to take God into the situations we face, not necessarily, in fact rarely, to preach with words, but always to preach with actions, to love with God’s love and to care with God’s care.
What I didn’t know at that time was exactly where it would lead us, into the centre of a community made up of probably the most marginalised and misunderstood people in this nation, those with learning difficulties.
Through not being able to have our own children and our decision to adopt children, regardless of what they threw at us, we have had the privilege of being Christ in situations that we could never have considered in any other situation.
I am not sure where we are heading with this but I am passionate about the need to stand up for the rights of the oppressed, not just those with learning difficulties but others too, I believe that, as a Christian, I am called to a life of speaking out for the oppressed, to speak out where I see injustices and to be Christ to those who are at the receiving end of oppression and injustice as well as fighting to ensure that the oppression and injustice stops.
Standing in the gap is not easy, it was never meant to be easy, its tiring, its difficult and it leave you exposed and weak at times.
In order to stand in the gap you also have to be prepared to build up the walls, if the gaps too big for you to stand in you need to do some repair work first, building up the walls may involve getting involved in political campaigning, trying to get unjust laws overturned, trying to establish justice through the law courts and through official channels seeking to have new, just and right, laws established and upheld in this land, I think an example of Ezekiel 22:30 in action in this land could have been seen in the likes of Shaftesbury, Newton & Wilberforce, to name but 3 well known names from previous generations but it can also be seen in hundreds and thousands of Gods children working in possibly very small ways to change the world for those they come into contact with.
So my challenge to you, if you Know Christ, is are you prepared to stand in the gap? I mean really stand in the gap, in the way I have outlined? its challenging but the rewards far outweigh the cost.
CPZ (Controlled Parking Zone) & Discrimination
OK so I am not normally critical of those Parking Attendants, or Parking Control Officers as they prefer to be called, I think! Generally I feel that they do an important and difficult job with a lot of unnecessary grief from members of the public who, by and large, deserve the parking tickets they get, in spite of having received a parking ticket myself a couple of years ago, in what I considered to be rather unfair circumstances, friends on Facebook can see the full details here But even taking that into account I feel that they are generally there for the benefit of all.
However my view is now changing a bit, following an incident that happened this morning, and No I didn’t get a ticket, neither was I at risk of getting one, I am incensed at the treatment that one such parking officer gave to another driver.
Anyhow, we picked Steven up from respite this morning and went into town, we had to drop the insurance claim form (for the laptop that Steven broke last weekend only days after we got it!!!!) due to the postal strike we decided delivering by hand would be prudent.
Anyhow, we managed to get parked in Allhallows, for those who don’t know Bedford its a pedestrian zone but they have disabled parking there, only vehicles with blue badges are permitted down the road but that doesn’t stop most people chancing their arms, largely because there are a few banks with cash machines handy there.
OK we just managed to slide into a space because someone was leaving as we arrived, we went off and did our shop, proudly displaying Steven’s blue badge.
On our return, we had just dropped the letter off, had a coffee and got some fresh bread, there was a traffic warden in the road, as I said earlier its a pedestrian zone with no access to vehicles except those with disabled parking permits.
This guy was telling those who had come down there illegally that they had to go otherwise he would book them, good on him, it was a bit chaotic with so many cars and vans that should not have been there at all!
Anyhow, as we proceeded to load Steven in, via the wheelchair lift, a car pulled up, clearly displaying his blue badge, I indicated we would be gone in a couple of minutes, so he waited, the warden then proceeded to issue the driver with a parking ticket! I protested on the drivers behalf and told the warden that he was just waiting till we had gone and was displaying a parking badge, the warden advised me to mind my own business and just said that he should not be waiting as there was a ‘loading ban’ So I asked him why he wasn’t booking all the vehicles which had driven in illegally, clearly ignoring the sign-age which said no entry, he said that was because they were leaving! however they had committed an offence just by going into the street, indeed they were also creating chaos on the road and making it difficult for pedestrians, as well as those who were the legitimately, so had caused a far more serious offence!
Anyhow, the driver with the blue badge made off before he could get a ticket, which is understandable I would have done the same if I was him!
The point of this story is this, was the parking guy discriminating against the disabled driver? OK so the driver MIGHT have been committing a minor technical offence in waiting for our space to come free BUT the other drivers had committed a far more serious breach in driving down the road in the first place and it was them, NOT the disabled driver, which were causing the chaos and endangering pedestrians with their action.
OK I might be over reacting here but it has incensed me enough that I have made a formal complaint to the council for the actions this particular officer took, and specifically for his discrimination in enforcing the law differently to the disabled driver than he did to the other drivers.
I am not planning to make too much of a deal about it but I am annoyed, as you have probably guessed! At this whole thing.
core belief’s and evidenced based belief
OK so that sounds quite a heavy title for a post but hopefully it won’t be as heavy as all that!
e kingdom, I wasn’t actually chosen, at the meeting where I went forward to give my life to God I was just one of a number of people and I have always felt that when I stood there God looked at me and just said ‘oh you came forward too did you? OK I will let you in’ this view was really due to the relationship I had with my parents in growing up, always feeling as if I was just tolerated rather than loved, not wanted but there, not being kicked out but still not really being welcomed as a valued part of the family. This mind set has been really clear in the way I have felt about going through the depths of depression over the past couple of years.
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The following is the text of an e-mail I have received in response to this blog post, Mike (the author) is a photographer who’s blog I have been following with some interest over the past few months, He lives in the same area as me and I am hoping to get out with him so that he can teach me camera techniques and help me improve my photography skills. As he says, his response is too long a comment to have left directly on my blog so he chose to e-mail it to me, I am copying it into the end of the original post because it adds soem very thought provoking ideas to my original post, if you wish to find out more about Mike he can be found on his own website here.
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Hi David
Well, as you’ll have now discovered, I’ve stumbled across your blog.
That’s what you get for posting a link to it on Twitter! Heh heh.
Anyway, I wrote this *huge* comment to one of your posts only to find that blogspot wouldn’t accept it cos it had “too many characters”. A bit reluctant to then just consign it to the recycle bin, thought I’d email it to you. Do with it what you will.
Here ‘t is…
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Well, I’ve now returned the favour and bookmarked your blog
Discovered through one of your tweets, and rather pleased about it I am too for this is a fascinating post. Most thought-provoking. And one with which I can only too easily identify. That’s to say, the opening paragraphs.
I don’t think I’ve ever phrased it to myself in quite such terms but for as long as I can remember I’ve always had an awareness that my perception of myself is very frequently at odds with the perception of me that others appear to hold. And generally the latter tends to be rather more positive than the former.
Which in effect, if I’ve understood you correctly, is pretty much the same as you’re saying.
Perhaps I should qualify that for I’m not entirely happy with the terms “positive” and “negative”, in the sense that “positive” could be taken to imply “good” or “nice” or whatever, and that’s not quite what I meant.
More accurate perhaps would be to say that others’ perceptions of my abilities and competencies frequently appear kindlier than my own.
What I’d not connected this disparity with however was the influence my early years viz parents etc may have had in the forming of my self-perception.
Its a fascinating and persuasive notion, and one to which I can see myself giving considerable thought.
But leaving that aside, you then go on to talk of people falling “into the trap of developing core beliefs then looking for evidence to support their belief rather than looking at all the evidence before forming a belief” and, as you rightly observe, in some circumstances it would be almost impossible to do otherwise.
This too set me to thinking. About the statement itself, and about the assumption implicit in the statement, which becomes much clearer with your closing remark. An assumption, moreover, that I suspect we all tend to make… that “evidence” is in some fashion more valid than “belief”.
Particularly if we’re equating validity with “closeness to the truth”.
(“Closeness to the facts”? Hmm. Even a statement as apparently simple as this raises profound questions.)
But I wonder if such an assumption is justified?
Here’s a few random thoughts…
Can “evidence” be said to exist “in isolation” as it were? Or does it not, rather, derive its status from the interpretation we put upon it?
Even to the extent of deciding which factors are relevant and therefore constitute “evidence” and which factors should be discarded as irrelevant?
Is it not possible that the whole notion of “evidence” is little other than a product of our own perception of “reality”? And if so, would that not actua
lly render it, paradoxically, a product of belief?
It seems to me that the attraction of restructuring (or attempting to
restructure) one’s life upon “the evidence” in preference to core beliefs resides in the assumption that in some way “the evidence” is more accurate, more truthful, or more representative of “reality” (or however you wish to express it) than belief may be.
Yet, as you so rightly observe, “evidence sometimes changes over time”.
Thus, how would we know, were we to structure our lives upon the evidence available today, that such evidence wouldn’t change (or, more pertinently, even be proven wrong by the discovery of more complete evidence for example) tomorrow?
And if there is an “absolute reality” and the evidence available to us at any given time can only ever be reflective of our circumscribed knowledge and/or understanding of that absolute reality and therefore (and inevitably) incomplete, how wise can it be to structure our lives upon such an incomplete (and possibly completely mistaken) basis?
(Bringing this principle right back down to “our own doorstep”, how can others’ perceptions of us constitute any form of reliable evidence when their knowledge of us is far less complete than our own?)
Is it even possible to attempt such an undertaking? How would we know, for example, that we have all the available evidence at our disposal?
Could it not be that actions based on partial evidence may be more erroneous than actions based purely on belief?
And in fact would those actions themselves not be based upon belief…
the belief that we have all the available evidence at our disposal?
Dilemmas indeed!
I think the thing I find most worrying about this is the sense that an “evidence-based life” (for want of a better term) hints of a very mechanistic (one might almost say materialistic) approach, and seems to allow little room for “movements of the Spirit”.
And that, so it seems to me, goes against the available evidence of what humans actually are, or how they live their lives in reality.
There’s another paradox for you!
I doubt if any reasonable person would argue with the notion that certain things are susceptible of being decided upon the basis of the evidence. One example you’ve used is that of the harmful effects of smoking.
I can’t imagine any reasonable person (even smokers) disputing that smoking can be (and generally is) seriously injurious of health. And such a conclusion is based purely upon the available evidence alone.
However, such examples don’t (so it seems to me) necessarily or even logically lead to the inference that everything should be (or needs to
be) evidence-based.
Let’s return to the matter of perceptions of self… one’s own and those of others.
In my own particular case, were I to “buy into” the evidence offered by other peoples’ perceptions of my abilities in certain areas then its distinctly conceivable that my efforts to improve in those areas would be significantly less than efforts based upon my own perception of such abilities.
In other words, its entirely conceivable that one’s own lesser perceptions of oneself can be the motivation to strive to improve. And surely that is a good thing. Isn’t it?
My own “spiritual path” (which, as you may have realised by now, goes by a somewhat different name to yours… though I tend not to place too much significance upon mere labels) demands of me a constant striving, which effort can only ever be based upon my own perception of myself and my shortcomings. Were I to allow it to be otherwise then its entirely conceivable that such striving wouldn’t be anywhere near as rigorous.
Or so I believe
And (returning to an earlier point) should validity even be equated to “closeness to the truth”? How can we ever know what such “truth” is (in any absolute sense) when it must forever be filtered through (or coloured by… whichever you prefer) our exclusively human perceptions? Would it not then make more sense to equate validity to relevancy?
And if relevancy be that which has the greatest potential for impacting our lives, or actually does impact and motivate us to the greater extent, then it seems to me that belief is far more valid than evidence.
Hmm. I’ve just re-read everything I’ve written and it strikes me as sounding somewhat challenging. Its not intended in that way. Its all just speculation reflective of my own virtually constant uncertainty about… oh… almost everything. Apart from my core beliefs of course
fotdmike
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all the best
mike
Skegness by the sea
I am starting to write this post quite late at night just to occupy my brain (what brain I hear you say!) for a while but will drop off to sleep soon so will have to pick up from where I left off tomorrow.
OK so 4th July might not be a special day in the UK, but for our US cousins it certainly is, it’s the day they celebrate their independence (from us I believe, so why we wish them a happy independence day I am not too sure!) anyhow, we spent this 4th July in Skegness of all places!
We went for a trip to the seaside! Normally these days we go to Felixstowe if we want a day trip to the seaside, because it takes just over 2 hours to get there, Skeg is about 2hr 45 minutes, we used to go to Cromer a lot but found that was too long (at 2hrs 30m) now we have kids, we have also been to wonderful Hunstanton but never been to Skeg, would not have normally considered it but we have a good friend who resides (hope you like how posh I make it sound Sue!) in Lincolnshire, we got to know her at Grapevine many years ago and have seen her there every year except for last year (she normally stewards) she had a wedding to attend last year so was not able to make it, this year we have made the decision not to go ourselves, personal reasons largely centred around my health and the fact that we just feel its too much to cope with for us and the kids now they are getting that bit older, maybe in a few years time we might give it a try again, but then we were also not impressed with various aspects of the event over the past couple of years, except that as we stop going they seem to have started gearing up more for disabled facilities! Ironic I know!
Anyhow, having not seen Sue for almost 2 years and no signs of when we might see her we had arranged to meet at Skeg, which we duly did, the journey there was a little frustrating because the roads are pretty slow anyhow and it wasn’t helped by 2 major roads along our rote being closed, requiring fairly lengthy diversions on slower roads, and the re-awakening of my navigation skills with the map (Sat Nav works fine until there are unexpected road closures and it certainly had not expected this one!) just as well I can still read a map!
Anyhow, we got there in one piece and meet up with Sue, pretty easy to do actually, and headed onto the beach, the beach is flat and sandy, gritty sand but sand none the less, it was a beautiful day with lovely weather, it was a little cooler than it clearly has been inland but that’s no bad thing, some of us still managed to get sunburnt, we had a long time on the beach, punctuated by going off the beach for some lunch. And the kids have been so well behaved today, Nat was thoroughly entertained.
It was great to see Sue again and we chatted a fair bit, when Nat would let us!
Skeg was very busy but seemed to cope with the crowds, there were loads of takeaway kiosks and the like along, and just off, the front, as well as plenty amusements but there was little point in going spending money on amusements when the kids were happy to be on the beach.
We were impressed with the prices of food and drink in Skeg, large ice cream (probably the nicest whipped ice cream I have tasted in a long time) for 65p! would have cost about 1.30 in Bedford and other places we go!
Although we were less impressed with the car parking charges, £1 per hour and we were not even exempt from it because of the blue badges (disabled persons parking permit, as opposed to disabled badges, to the uneducated!) and the cost of spending a penny has been seriously impacted by rising inflation and credit crunches, it now costs 20p in Skeg, 20p come on what is that all about? They didn’t even have gold plated taps. There is no way that we do 20X as much wee as we used to when it only cost 1p, although I did my best to get my moneys worth when I did use the facilities, it was a bit of a surprise though for Joy who took Nat to the toilets, from our location on the beach, leaving her handbag with us, only to have to treck all the way back to get her 20p and go back again!
After our afternoon beach session we ‘bribed’ nat off the beach with the offer of a donkey ride, yes that’s right they have donkey rides on the beach, she was scared at first but by the end of the ride she was loving it, thanks in no small part to the way that Sue was in encouraging her to enjoy it, she has a real gift with our kids, or should I say she is a real gift for us with our kids? Time she relocated to Bedford I think J
Anyhow, after a very good day we drove back, much more straightforward this time as we were able to ensure our route didn’t take in the closed sections of road and there seemed to be less cars too.
We are please with both our kids, they did us proud today, being so well behaved and a real pleasure to take out for the day, we even got away with nat not askign to go on lots of rides during the day.
So, over all, Skeg is a really good seaside resort, there were plenty of things to occupy the kids had the weather not been so fantastic, the beach is level and sandy, which is ideal for us, although the sand is that fine gritty (sharp sand) type which isn’t quite so nice and its colour made it look a little dirty, but other than that the beach was good, plenty of space for the crowds.
Parking, well over priced but seemed to be plenty of it although with our ‘cavy mobile’ which is like a Transit van sized vehicle, the car park nearest the beach wasn’t accessible as there was a height limit, 1” below our height, didn’t want to chance the barrier, and the one we did go into the spaces and layout made it very tight so difficult to manoeuvre in and out of space and quite tight to get the kids in and out of the side door, we managed to get on the end of a row which made it easier. When will they learn that generally cars need more space these days than they did back in 1960 whenever it was that the standard car parking space was invented? There was also a totally inadequate number of disabled parking spaces so these were all taken by the time we got there.
Toilet facilities, done enough on that, the disabled toilets would have probably been too small to meet current regulations and were v
ery tight, fortunately we do most of Steven’s changes in the car, the access to the toilet, turnstile barriers where you pay also mean that mums with buggy’s cant use them so I think most of them have acquired a Radar Key which didn’t help the length of queue at the disabled toilet.
Plenty of food outlets and places selling beach good and they all seemed reasonably priced and clean. And access generally was very good, didn’t like the wheelchair accessibility at McDonalds because they only had one route to the front door wide enough for wheelchair access and that was right next to the bike park so when, as happened, someone lays a bike down instead of standing it up the wheelchair access is totally lost! That’s a real bad point.
We would definatelly consider going back again some time but only really if it was too meet up with Sue or someone else as it is a bit of a treck from us, also nto realy suitable if yopu want a quiet and isolated beach, the amusements are located convenient to access but not in your face if you want to keep the kids from begging to go on every ride on offer.
I didn’t start writing this as a ‘report’ on the resort but perhaps I should have done, I might take up reviewing places we visit, particularly from our disability issue perspective, as it might be useful to other folk as well.
A busy day, 2 school fete’s
So, today was always going to be a pretty busy day, both Steven’s & Natalie’s schools decided to hold their school summer fetes on the same day, except that neither of them were actually school fetes!
Fortunately the weather has been pretty reasonable otherwise it would have been a bit of a washout all round.
First off we had Steven’s school fun day, from 11am, this was a good and well attended event, they had Boogie Pete from Boogie Bebbies on the CBebbies channel so he managed to get the crowd worked up and dancing with him, Nat enjoyed joining in but Steven was most disgusted at the thought of being in school on a Saturday, as the photo shows! He didn’t want to join in much and spent most of the time trying to escape or sitting on a chair with his back to the activity.
Natalie joined in with the dancing and we chatted with a few other parents.
We had to leave the fun day early to grab some lunch and then get Nat changed for the village fete and school open day, the school is only a very small one (14-ish in a year group) and they always try and get as many kids involved in the fete as possible, by doing some dances, sadly I couldn’t manage to get any video or photo’s of Nat doing her dance as she was about as far from where we were stood as is possible but she did do really well, the whole school always does do a fantastic job at events like this, for a small school, even for a larger school, they have a really dedicated and committed staff who do get the very best out of the kids and they so obviously and clearly breed some really talented kids too.
It is with a slight tinge of sadness that we watched Nat dancing because this is the last time we will see her take part on any such activities at this school, from September she moves on to a school for children with moderate learning difficulties, this is a bitter sweet thing, we are pleased that she has got a place there, especially as we had expected to have to fight to get her in, but we are sad that she will no longer be at the school she currently goes to because it is a fantastic school and we shall miss the staff, parents & kids, it really is a wrench but we do need to consider what is best for Nat and our (and the schools) overwhelming feeling is that now is the right time for her to move into special school.
Nat also enjoyed having her face p
ainted and having a go on the bouncy castle.
We then headed to the local Garden Centre for a drink before heading off home, although by the time we were getting in the car to go home Nat had got over tired and was really stroppy and difficult so we decided to take a bit of a drive round and see if she went to sleep, which she did, we went past the road where Steven’s old school was, this closed down a couple of years ago now, so we decided to take a drive up there to see what was happening to the buildings, which apparently is not a lot! Obviously someone is looking after the playing fields and grounds but there are no signs up to indicate any purpose the buildings are being used for.
Anyhow, that’s about the size of our day, for me very draining! I had a rather emotional and difficult time yesterday and then to have such a draining day today has been rather tough, not least because of being around so many people and having to cope with socialising with people, something I often find difficult and draining these days. busy days are never going to be great whilst I still suffer depression BUT considering all this hasnt been as bad a day as it could have been, especially follwoing on from yesterday.
Car Problem
For the past few weeks we have been having problems with the car, well I call it a car but it’s a Fiat Ducato, which is the Fiat equivalent to the Transit, it’s a wheelchair accessible adapted vehicle.


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